15 Painfully Funny One Liners That Are Brilliantly Clever

The ole funny one liners… The one liner is that classical comedic joke that is delivered in a single line.

Many comedians use funny one liners as apart of their act, and believe it or not it’s not that easy to master. So if you’re ready for a good laugh check out these one liners hand-picked by us!


1. Life is a lot like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or you’re taking sh*t from some as*hole.


2. Ain’t it funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind your car.


3. I’ll change my Facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this.


4. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.


5. Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn’t tried wiping their but with an IPad.


6. You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.


7. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.


8. One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance… so i pushed her over.


9. I’m the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.


10. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look hot.. so I got drunk.


11. A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.


12. Maybe if we all emailed the constitution to each other, the NSA will finally read it.


13. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.


14. You haven’t experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn’t ticklish.


15. After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.


If you liked these then you should check out the unexpected twist this dude got when he needed Amazon chat support.

Make sure to give these funny one liners a share on Facebook before you go! Also, let us know if you have any funnier ones by adding in the comment section below.

h/t Kickass Humor

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