10 Hilariously Absurd Patents That Will Leave You Scratching Your Head

The world of patents is where innovation meets imagination, and sometimes, where practicality takes a detour into the truly bizarre.

Throughout history, inventors have filed patents for ideas ranging from genius to outright absurd. While these patents might make you laugh, they also showcase the endless possibilities of human creativity, even when the outcome borders on ridiculous.

Some of these inventions make you wonder if they were ever intended to be practical or simply the result of too much free time. Others might have started with noble intentions but got lost in translation during the design phase. Either way, they remind us of the humor and humanity behind innovation. Here’s a countdown of ten of the most hilariously absurd patents ever filed.

Hilariously Absurd Patents

A Stick

• Patent Number: US6360693B1
• Description: Imagine patenting something nature already perfected. This “toy for pets” reinvents the classic stick, complete with a sleek diagram. It’s essentially just a stick, but the audacity of calling it an invention makes it both absurd and oddly impressive.

Toilet Fire Escape System

• Patent Number: US4320756A
• Description: When fire strikes and your only source of fresh air is through the plumbing, this snorkel-like device steps in. It allows you to breathe through toilet water, combining necessity and absurdity in one unforgettable design. Surely, it’s better than suffocating—but only slightly.

Centrifugal-Force Birthing Apparatus

• Patent Number: US3216423A
• Description: Why let gravity do all the work when you can add some spin? This device straps a mother onto a rotating table to “fling” the baby out using centrifugal force. Though it promises to reduce labor time, it’s safe to say most parents (and doctors) are steering clear of this dizzying idea.

1882 Mousetrap

• Patent Number: US269766A
• Description: This 19th-century mousetrap was designed to obliterate rodents with a level of violence that would make modern traps look tame. While effective, the sheer complexity and brutality of this contraption land it squarely in the “over-the-top” category of pest control.

Walking through walls training system

• Patent Number: US20060014125A1
• Description: This invention is a training system which enables a human being to acquire sufficient hyperspace energy in order to pull the body out of dimension so that the person can walk through solid objects such as wooden doors.

Anti-Eating Face Mask

• Patent Number: US4344424A
• Description: Want to lose weight? This face mask literally stops you from eating by blocking your mouth. It’s dieting taken to the extreme—and not without a hint of medieval torture vibes. At least it’s effective… in theory.

Apparatus for Simulating a High-Five

• Patent Number: US5356330A
• Description: Feeling lonely? This invention ensures you’ll never be without a high-five buddy. A mechanical arm that mimics the celebratory gesture is equal parts charming and silly. The patent promises all the camaraderie of a high-five, minus the actual human contact.

Beerbrella

• Patent Number: US6637447B2
• Description: Protecting your beer from the sun’s rays has never been so sophisticated. This tiny umbrella clips onto your beverage, shielding it from heat while providing comic relief for anyone watching you use it.

Collapsible Metal Suitcase With Asbestos Facemask

• Patent Number: US2921317A
• Description: This invention generally relates to a portable shield for protecting the human body against conditions and/or forces resulting from various types of explosions. More particularly, this invention pertains to a portable shield which will afford the wearer a considerable degree of safety during times of war.

Motorized Ice Cream Cone

• Patent Number: US5971829A
• Description: For those who find licking ice cream tedious, this motorized cone rotates your frozen treat for you. It’s the epitome of convenience—or laziness—depending on how you look at it. Either way, it’s guaranteed to make people laugh.

A Tribute to Whimsical Innovation

These ten patents remind us that invention isn’t always about utility—it’s also about pushing boundaries, thinking creatively, and having a little fun along the way. While many of these ideas never made it past the drawing board (thankfully, in some cases), they highlight the inventive spirit that drives human progress. Even the most absurd concepts can inspire us to see the world differently and maybe even smile in the process.

The next time you see a bizarre product, think of these patents and remember: every great idea starts somewhere—even if it begins with a stick.

If you thought these were interesting check out the vintage ads that would be banned today.